mindless thoughts. pt. 1

maybe i was wrong, and i'm bitter. but i feel like i'm losing.
i told her i had seasonal depression- i don't.
today Tavy and i were talking, and she actually has so much common sense. but she said how she knew the things we did, how she can't imagine us with anyone else. but i don't really think that is good. she knows how i feel though. i kind of want things back. but i'm not ready for that. i don't think i am at least.

busy night.

maybe because i'm trying to be a healthier person, i'm actually losing my mind.
it's not legal for me to smoke. but i want to so badly. it's not like i haven't broken the law before.

August 30th

Nothing is as it has been.

i feel unsatisfied,
almost like an empty feeling. maybe high school ruined me- maybe she did, maybe he did.
maybe it's pressure from  the world wanting me to fit in.
maybe it's my fault... Regardless, there is an unsettling feeling i'm going through.
Hurry! get the coffee we're going to need it. (or  vodka)

i hope for the best, for you guys.
but i'm sure that it's just my fault things usually are.

And Casey, i wish you were here. i need to talk to you about this. and miss you.

i think that really you just need to shut up- well... all of you do. it's not healthy.