it's weird to me.

one time i was at your house- and we were laying bed. you said that we couldn't have sex because there were people at your house. and i'll give you that. i mean people, but also high people. but like a couple weeks later, we were at your house and you said "lets do it" but your mom and sheridan were there. so i was like "there are people here." but you didn't care. 

i'm happy for you i guess. i mean you found someone who you can 'love' in front of your friends. i'm happy that your 'intimacy issues' and 'commitment issues' don't plague you anymore. because i'd hate for you to have another failed relationship. i'm happy that it took you a couple of weeks to get over me. but Bim took 6 fucking months, and even then the wound was still there. i'm happy you questioned my sexuality for the all of the time that we knew each other. but mostly i'm happy you're happy. 

do remember how it felt? like not the i like you part of it, just the having someone.
and dancing? like everything felt good.

i remember how it feels not to do that. because that's what i've forced myself to do.
be alone.

I'm not nervous, I'm tired.

I'm not angry, I'm upset. 

It feels like I just have these empty feelings. Like I have emotions, but they're only half full. I feel like maybe there is something in this life that I'm missing.